Why do you disturb my passage, fuzzy mortal?
I'm here to interview you! I'm Cloverpuff, the dimension hopping rabbit.
A rabbit? I do not know what that is.
I'm a rodent from Earth.
Ah! Earth! Robert is from that planet. But he is away now, combing space.
I hop around different novels and interview the characters. It's your turn now. Let's get started, all right?
You bore me.
What's your name?
You do not know? Look into my eyes and you shall speak my name.
Oh... my... Your eyes... Ex-excuse me, Bowman but let me steal your line.They're full of stars! The entire universe is cradled between the constellations in her eyes. Dear readers, I can't describe it... Her eyes, are the birthplace of dreams, the sand in the hourglass, the rise and fall of empires.
Good, good. You are not as dim as you look with that hat.
*Dorky, drowsy-eyed grin.* You are my Goddess.
I am Time, ruler of the universe.
*Gasps.* The goddess Time. You're the first goddess I interview! Do you mind me asking... What were you doing when I came in?
I flow through the universe. I permeat everything and everyone. Without me, you would be nothing. Your life would exist. I am the ruler. The one who stepped up when the Logos abandoned all creation. The one who restored order in chaos.
Yes, but what were you doing right now? When I hopped in?
*Gestures toward bureau sitting in the middle of nowhere.* I was putting on the anti wrinkle cream Robert made me.
If I told you you had to do some spring cleaning right away, what would you throw out?
There is a simple answer for that: I would begin with all of Robert's knick-knacks. Look, I shall show you. *Walks across the emptiness.*
*An entire laboratory slowly appears around her, condensing like ghosts.*
Oh, my! How did you do that?
The laboratory is always here. I hide it so it does not jostle my nerves even more. Look.
*Picks up giant glass decanter.*
This is one of the first items I would banish from my plane. Robert leaves his utensils lying all around, and I trip over them when I am concentrated my flow.
*Points to static bicycle.*
Robert does not even need that. He has only used it once in two hundred years.
Yes... I believe it is time for a little spring cleaning.
*Raises hand toward bicycle, hums a deep, sad melody. Tiny blue rays of electricity crackle from her fingertips. The bicycle quivers, rattles and shakes. With a pop, it vanishes.*
Wow! You made it disappear!
I sent it to a different plane. Robert will have to perform many astral jumps until he finds it. The exercise will do him good.
Well, let's continue with the interview. Look deep into my eyes... Do you have any secrets you'd like to confess?
Do not tell me to look into your eyes. They offer nothing but short-lived joy and dreams which will never be fulfilled. Your life is but a speck against the backdrop of the universe. You shall return to the Forge, the birthplace of all True Selves, before my dress completes its next ripple.
Oh... Okay... *Lowers head.* Talk about being a buzzkill. Next question: if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Change? Me? I am the ruler of the universe!
And what do you like most about yourself?
Observe my brilliance. Does that answer your question?
Is there anyone you really, really hate? Come on, you can tell me!
I do not feed my loathing, dear... rabbit. It is a hurtful feeling which has damaged me in the past. Although I do feel disappointment for my sister Future. She fell prey to jealousy and conjured up a false Future to show me. I believed her. I never should have. She made me corrupt the one mortal I adored most...
Imagine it's a typical Saturday afternoon. What are you doing?
Your question is irrelevant.
What's your strongest childhood memory? It can be good or bad.
My childhood was quickly thrust off the Logos' lap. But if I had to choose one particular memory... It is the brief period I spent alongside my sisters, Past and Future. We were young, we didn't know what rivalry was. But then Past withdrew from us, closing herself in her memories of days gone by. Her shoulders sagged and her back bent more and more with every new memory weighing over her shoulders. I rarely see her now. It... it breaks my heart. I do not wish to talk about this any longer.
Well, thank you for your time! No pun intended! Before I head back to my dimension, can you complete this sentence for me?
If I could be a domestic appliance, any appliance, I'd be a...
I do not know of this appliance you speak of. I am Time. It is all I wish to be.
Now I'll hop on over to...
Frederick Terra, by Shane Jeffery
Click on Tristan to see Cloverpuff interview characters from other novels!
Time rules the upcoming sci-fantasy novel, Serving Time. Stay tuned for more news and character portraits!